( ic contact ) - ( sorry, guys, i got a little held up. you had to be there. )

[tardily]

 

Barry Allen
Hey! You've reached Barry Allen. I'm not available to take your call right now because of— a reason. Leave a message or just text me and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. BEEP.


The Flash
This is The Flash. Not Kid Flash or Impulse. The Flash. I can't text and run. I'll get back to you ASAP and you know that's pretty fast coming from me. BEEP.

Comments

[tardily]

take as much time as you need okay.

i'll be here. promise.

[ even if he knows that he can't promise it considering how he had disappeared before, but he can't help but want to somehow reassure bart that he'll be here to talk when he's ready or to just give a hug when he's ready. ]

[tardily]

Apparently no men were eaten by the great whites they were trying to catch. Just the great white's sibling.

Shark facts. Why sharks?

Have I suddenly become a shark without realizing it?

omfg i was right here doing day 3 bless u

[infomodder]

Whoaaaa, reign in those seahorses! TalkJawsomeToMe only sends one riveting and delightful fact about sharks a day, but we can tell you are an eager beaver! We'll throw you another one. Just don't spread it to the rest of the school or we'll have to deal with our boss Megalodon, and she doesn't go easy on ANYBODY!

The chance of being killed by a shark is 1 in 300 million. The chance of being killed by airplane parts falling from the sky is 1 in 10 million. You are 1,000 times more likely to drown in the sea than you are to be bitten by a shark. What's so scary about sharks now?

[infomodder]

A pup (baby shark) is born ready to take care of itself. The pup comes out knowing it's gotta go fast, usually because it needs to make a getaway before the mother can eat it! It may then remain on the move for the rest of its life, forcing water over its gills to prevent suffocation and death. It does not have to move quickly for this, just a little will do.

IT'S LIKE I KNEW.

[tardily]

I'M NOT AQUAMAN I DON'T RIDE SEAHORSES.

I don't...I honestly don't know if I want to know any of this. If I text stop does that stop this?

MINDMELD 1/2

[infomodder]

Whoaaaa, reign in those seahorses! TalkJawsomeToMe only sends one riveting and delightful fact about sharks a day, but we can tell you are an eager beaver! We'll throw you another one. Just don't spread it to the rest of the school or we'll have to deal with our boss Megalodon, and she doesn't go easy on ANYBODY!

Sharks do not have a single bone in their bodies! Sharks have a skeleton made up of cartilage. Yes, the same type of tough, flexible tissue that makes up human ears and noses.

[infomodder]

TalkJawsomeToMe has registered that you used the word STOP! Would you like to unsubscribe from riveting and delightful facts about sharks? If you would like to STOP receiving facts about one of nature's most misunderstood and impressive species, we understand. That's how humans are! Please text STOP one more time for us to be certain this is the path you have chosen like so many egocentric and arrogant human beings before you.

[infomodder]

A few of the known shark species will drown if they stop moving. Great white, mako and salmon sharks don’t have the muscles they need to pump water through their mouth and over their gills. As long as they keep swimming, water keeps moving over their gills, keeping them alive. Can you imagine having to constantly move your entire life? That's just another day in the life for many sharks!

[tardily]

...Never mind.

:(

[infomodder]

[For a brief moment, Barry might think that he isn't being sent automated messages, that someone is working this dumb shit for a living, because rather than receive another text of VERY FUN SHARK FACTS or anything spam-related? He gets a simple emote of a shark's head rising through the water. Like the Facebook one, and that's it.]

[infomodder]

What is UP with those hammerhead sharks, am I right!? Believe it or not, the shape of their head allows them to be able to find prey easier! Since their eyes are set apart they can see what is going on in various directions better than other species of sharks. They also have plenty of sensory organs in their head so they can feel vibrations and movements of their prey when they don't see them.

[moded]

thanks gramps

[And that's really all Bart's going to be able to give for the next while. After all, he's having a minor meltdown with Wally over text and Jaime's coming to hang out with him. But...

But after all of that, after it's well past evening on the East Coast, Bart's zipping back into Heropa, making his way into Barry's house as easy as breathing, stopping only to knock on the door to his grandfather's room.

Which, honestly, is sign number one that Bart Allen is not feeling completely up to snuff. After all, when does the kid ever knock?]

text

[pobrecisco]

DUDE whats this i'm being told about you "beating up young women"????????????????????

tho the same person telling me that wants me to ask how you like her gift so im just confused now

text

[tardily]

you met gogo.

[ barry allen you little shit that's not an answer to that question. ]

text

[pobrecisco]

oh good so you know specifically which chick you apparently beat up? that's good

text;

[maglevflash]

I realized that I didn't call to see if you were okay while Bart was gone.
I'm sorry.
How are you?

text

[tardily]

yes i do, i also ate father's day dinner ish with her and she knows my alternate universe nephew and grandson. because speedsters stick together.

i also know it because i apologized! after i did it. or after the thing i was under wore off. i kind of went a little rainbow raider grr after that whole passing out for three days thing.

and beat her up. and got really pissed at hal and thought he was eobard. i had a bad month.

text

[pobrecisco]

okay wait back up

nephew and grandson???




also speaking of eobard she's working for "dr. wells" at the university and how much are we allowed to warn people he's dangerous

text

[tardily]

speedster genes run in the family and i infect innocent teenagers with ideas to BLOW THEMSELVES UP WITH CHEMICALS to become kid flash.

he's...his. man i forgot to tell you this because it's so weird to say and caitlin already knew them and oliver had been so over the alt universe thing because hal's hal and he's supposed to be super in love with laurel?? dinah? NOT THE POINT.

bart allen and wally west. and yes. that's the west that you're thinking of. just not our wests as far as how they look. except iris is his aunt technically. and bart would call an iris grams? he calls me gramps. it's weird. i've had too much time to get used to it and wally is...

NOT THE POINT. so not the point. point is, he'll suspect something if she suddenly stops working for him. just I HAVEN'T TOLD PEOPLE WHO AREN'T. who don't know what a reverse flash is. don't tell her.

just tell her he's...occasionally creepy??? i don't know?

text;

[tardily]

It's fine. I didn't talk to Wally, I got bogged in stuff. You didn't have to. And it's not like we haven't talked since he came back because of that block party.

I'm fine. I'm good, better than good, a friend came. And you told him I beat you up?

text

[pobrecisco]

holy CRAP dude you've got a whole FAMILY here and everything that's crazy. i gotta meet them! actually i might have met one already. there was a speedster running around our neighborhood looking for a stray cat the night i got here?

wait WAIT oliver's in love with laurel??? oh man... [ RUIN HIS DREAMS WHY DON'T YOU like he can compete with that:( ]

i don't think she's going to. i didn't tell her anything specific, just to be careful just in case. she made the very good point of the fact that she doesn't know ME that well either so why should she trust my word over his, but maybe if you back it up?

text;

[maglevflash]

Yeah, me too. So much happened the end of last month.

What? I told him you apologized.
Did he actually text you?

text

[tardily]

do not say the f word around wally he will pout at you and become superpowered super sullen teenager. i'm sparing you that fate. and that was probably bart? DID HE SAY GRAMPS IN THE CONVERSATION? if he did, definitely bart. isn't he just a mini-me?

SUPPOSED TO BE. isn't. come on, you've met him. he thinks felicity is the best thing ever. which she is but that's my personal bias and remembering that if it wasn't for lightning we could have dated. but no. by the time i woke up she was complicated with him and then ray. your black canary torch can remain lit. [ he loves you cisco, which is why he pushes your dreams back up when he kicks them on accident. ]

yeah. but. HE HASN'T...i can't. we still have to live with him cisco. and i'd like him to not have a reason to go evil laughter away.

text

[pobrecisco]

what, does he not think his alternate universe UNCLE BARRY (oh man that has the most hilarious ring to it) is just the greatest??? and he mightve but dude talks WAY TOO FAST i couldnt follow half of what he was saying and he got all sad puppy face when i asked him to slow down

okay good. i mean-- I MEAN!! that would just be way too many badass ladies for someone who broods as much as oliver queen and that is just NOT FAIR. also: shut up.

yeah dude i know but if something happens because we DIDNT warn somebody who trusted him.........

[ He's just gonna let that thought hang. He likes Gogo, and he doesn't want to see anyone else he likes getting hurt because of Eobard Thawne. ]

text;

[tardily]

Yeah, Cisco texted me. I said 'ah you've met gogo' and I just distracted him with talking about Wally and Bart. Alt universes > me beating you up apparently.

Were you not expecting him to? Because I can text him back and tease him. Even if I'm already teasing him about something unrelated.