( ic contact ) - ( sorry, guys, i got a little held up. you had to be there. )

[tardily]

 

Barry Allen
Hey! You've reached Barry Allen. I'm not available to take your call right now because of— a reason. Leave a message or just text me and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. BEEP.


The Flash
This is The Flash. Not Kid Flash or Impulse. The Flash. I can't text and run. I'll get back to you ASAP and you know that's pretty fast coming from me. BEEP.

Comments

[runningstart]

u are trying to tell me that your world is not boring because it

has less colors than mine.................

[tardily]

no. i am saying my world has more creativity so we don't need the colors to be creative.

seriously wally, you won't even get me to admit it under torture.

IGNORE THAT MISFIRE

[runningstart]

so torture is on the table then

I WAS ABOUT TO SAY. LIKE DAMN GAARA HE HASN'T EVEN MET YOU

[tardily]

i'm not above reminding you that i do have the same name as your uncle and that torturing me would be bad. also superhealing.

and it'd make bart cry. so. not really on the table, no.

its never too soon to torture your acquaintances

[runningstart]

WELL THEN DONT OFFER IT DANG

[runningstart]

look what you did i dont even remember what we were talking about

[runningstart]

oh right ok so what do you wanna know

pretty sure you at least have to say hello first just so there's something there

[tardily]

I WASN'T OFFERING IT. COME ON MAN. THAT'S NOT A FLASH WAY.

...i shouldn't have said that but i like to think none of us do torture because it's a mean thing to do and we're not like other heroes. who will not be named.

[tardily]

you started it, technically? with your little string attached. i just ran with it to make this conversation last longer.

so sue me for wanting to talk.

[tardily]

right now? maybe jay. i know he's not here, but bart talks about him and other people mentioned him and color me slightly curious because i don't have him. and yes that means i'm the first flash at home.

...batman would also be a good one. mostly so i can stop laughing at batman. I'M TRYING NOT TO SAY EVERYTHING.

because that's not a text conversation.

[runningstart]

'not be named' ok fella

[runningstart]

jay is a badass with a senior discount

he was doing the speed thing before it was cool and helped found the justice society which was the big superhero group before it broke up and then kind of half-reformed into the league

theres about a bajillion stories about jay but if you want to know most of them go find a guy named the shade and ask him and hell talk about jay until the sun sets on the seventh day
he has a crush

[runningstart]

BATMAN im not telling you a lot about bc i value my broship with robin and also my life and batman is a jerk about stuff

[tardily]

already did the accidental reveal of someone's secret id, not risking it again. he may like green though.

so he's the grandpa flash. or can be called that because he was the first and not me. i might admit that's one of those things that your world has over me. THAT'S NOT CALLING MY WORLD BORING. but does he seriously have a crush? like neon sign crush?

[ not that it's a problem but he needs to know that ahead of time right now. ]

i also am slightly concerned about ever talking to batman but honestly, i've got to do it at some point because superman put me on superman catching duty if...that's not the point. the point is that if batman murders me because i say the wrong thing, i'm going to remember this and haunt you. even if that's not possible. but good on you valuing the broship. even though you now let me connect batman + robin. who i keep being concerned is a bird when i read that.

[tardily]

i'm assuming superman is not off limits.

because he is not a jerk.

and also you. because we've established you were just reacting the way anyone would have and you apologized.

[runningstart]

reads like a crush dude i dunno maybe he does if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck amiright

ALSO whatever dude everybody knows batman + robin theyre partners robin was THE FIRST sidekick its like national knowledge

heres the things u need 2 know about batman: prefers people who do the job right the first time
doesnt really appreciate dissenting opinions
no sense of humor (robin will say he does but hes lying)

[runningstart]

SUPERMAN is great hes a boy scout
he can get kind of holier than thou about it sometimes but like its so rare and if ur like whatever dude usually hes like ah sorry

hes pretty reliable i think he genuinely just likes people which is just
weird as heck

[runningstart]

ME IM AMAZING yes my favorite topic

im 16 im a scorpio i like food and hot girls
im a genius and everybody likes me

[tardily]

ignoring the fact that you called a grown man a duck, sure. yes, it walks and quacks like a duck so it is indeed a DUCK.

and i don't. no batman where i come from or if he is there, he hasn't made his existence national knowledge. but no batman = no robin. :(

...oh so he's. [ basically oliver then. ]...thankfully i have experience with someone like that. i'm significantly less concerned for my life now.

[tardily]

liking people isn't weird as heck. if it's weird as heck, i'm weird as heck and i know i'm...not. but noted on the superman front. though maybe it's just me but i don't think he's an actual boy scout. i know i know, that was just an expression but if it wasn't for the alien factor i would probably assume he learned the all american man thing from being a boy scout. or being from the midwest. probably both.

[tardily]

...is that how you introduce yourself to everyone? that's not the best of introductions, no offense.

how much of a genius, btw?

[runningstart]

if it makes you feel better i dont think batman would actually kill anybody just make them miserable for the rest of eternity

BUT IM GENIUS ENOUGH TO GIVE MYSELF MY OWN POWERS
BAM lookit that

betcha didnt think i was THAT smart huh

[tardily]

the only upside to that is still living. being miserable for the rest of eternity isn't exactly anyone's preferred state.

wally, you do know i didn't mean to become the flash, right? i mean I DIDN'T. and only had it happen because i fell in some chemicals and had lightning from the particle accelerator hit me, but i don't know about your uncle.

but if it was anything like mine, it does require a certain amount of smarts. mostly because i guarantee you knowing all of the chemicals involved and every little detail does mean you might as well be called a super genius.

[runningstart]

huh thats weird

jays was an accident like that
i mean it was just lightning from the sky not particle accelerator lightning but he didnt mean for it to happen

uncle b recreated it and then i recreated it from HIS notes so uncle b was kind of the genius first so

but thank u im aware i am a super genius and thats all me no powers involved
thank

[tardily]

the more you guys keep talking about jay, the more i'm really just hoping he's in my world and that because things are different he just hasn't been in central like i needed him to be. NOT THAT I DID NEED HIM. because different mentor without superspeed, awesome team, but they also don't have superspeed.

...i feel significantly less cool for being the one who had it happen because oops the skylight thing was open and i'm an idiot. i'm not an idiot but you know.

ps: don't be so cocky even if you're super genius. bad habit to get into and makes you look way less cool.